


If You Walk Out That Door

by DaydreamDestiel



Series: Prompted Fics [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 13:05:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6080463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaydreamDestiel/pseuds/DaydreamDestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this prompt by @rosemoonweaver: if you walk out that door, I'll never forgive myself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Walk Out That Door

They’d been bickering all day. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another, and when the tension had finally reached its breaking point, Dean had lost his temper. He’d thrown the bottle of whiskey he’d been drinking across the room and it had shattered on the wall, sending shards of glass and alcohol everywhere. Cas had stared, open mouthed at the spot where it had crashed into the wall.

Dean had instantly regretted his actions. He’d stood there, staring at Cas, while Cas stared at the wall. He wanted to walk over, and wrap Cas in his arms. He wanted to bury his face in Cas’s hair and tell him he was sorry, but he couldn’t.

The mark on his arm was burning, and sending a rage through his blood that he was fighting to control. He heard himself telling Cas to get out, but he didn’t mean it, not really. His voice was angry and hard, and he saw the hurt flashing across Cas’s face. Normally that would instantly deflate him, but he was already too worked up, and it was too hard to keep from hurting him.

“If that’s what you really want.” Cas said, looking more depressed than Dean had ever seen him.

“Yeah. I do.” Dean growled, stalking toward him. Cas’s face crumpled even more as he frowned.

“Okay Dean.” Cas replied, and his voice was so sad, so lonely that it chilled the boiling rage that Dean had been feeling.

Not completely, but enough. Enough that as he watched Cas walking away, he began to worry that it would be the last he’d see of him. There was nothing keeping Cas here, nothing to make him want to come back. All he’d gotten from Dean lately was pain, pain, and more pain. What if this was the last straw?

He stood there, watching the space Cas had been, and listening to his retreating steps echoing. He was almost frozen, fighting with himself now. Maybe it would be better for Cas to go? Maybe then, he wouldn’t have to worry about killing him the way that Cain had killed Colette. Cold fear clutched at him because he would rather die a hundred deaths, than kill Cas.

Even with that fear though, he couldn’t let Cas go. He couldn’t lose him. Dean had always known he was selfish, and he was about to prove it. But hell, if he was damned either way, at least he could enjoy the time he had before it was over.

He took off running down the hall feet pounding into the hard floor. He got there just in time, Cas was at the top of the stairs, about to open the door. He turned at the sound of Dean running toward him, confused. Dean stopped a couple of feet back from him.

“Cas, wait.” Dean began. “If you walk out that door, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“But… you told me to go.” The confusion on Cas’s face was endearing and irritating all at once, and Dean found himself smirking despite the circumstances.

“I know. But I didn’t mean it. I was mad, and the mark was burning. Sometimes I’m just dumb, Cas.” He shrugged. “And I don’t want to lose you. I need you. Even if I’m an ass a lot of the time, I need you.”

“Dean, I don’t understand. How would you lose me? I was only going out to pick up a pie in an attempt to placate your temper.” Cas explained, sounding even more confused.

“Oh.” Dean answered, feeling his cheeks heat at his admission.

“Were you under the impression that my absence would be permanent?” Cas asked solemnly.

“Well, I was being kind of a dick to you all day.” Dean reiterated. “And it hasn’t just been today. I’ve been kind of a dick to you for years, man.”

“You’re also kind, and compassionate and forgiving.” Cas informed him.

“I guess.” Dean hedged, brushing it off. “I just wanted to make sure you know that no matter what I say in the heat of an argument, I never want you to go away for good.”

“Oh.” Cas replied. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you want me to stay? If my presence is upsetting to you?” Cas questioned.

“Because I love you, you moron.” Dean replied, and the words rolled off his tongue easily despite the fact he’d never said it out loud before.

“You… what?” Cas asked, disbelief dancing in his eyes.

“I said I love you.” Dean repeated, closing the distance. “I don’t want to lose you, because I love you. And that’s scary as fuck. I’ve never loved anyone like this, and I’m selfish. I can’t let you go, even if I should. Even if it’s better for you.”

“Dean.” Cas whispered on a sigh. “I love you as well.”

And then they kissed and it was full of warmth, and hope, and longing. They stayed like that for a long time, just exploring one another with mouths, and hands, until finally, Dean tugged Cas to his room.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Check me out on Tumblr @daydreamdestiel for more fun! I do prompts/fancasts/ships for every hundred followers!


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